Between hearing discussions on sex, durgs and meaningless women from a friend,
I take a step back to think. I take a step back until I'm at a comofrtable distance;
sometimes I feel like I'll never stop walking.
In the UNL world, being a believer mandates a certain distance that you have to
keep if you want to survice, no matter how close you may be to the guys around you.
I mean distance figuratively. Really, it just mean you still have the clarity of
mind to realize you need to step back and evaluate things from time to time.
I participate freely. I didn't always do so, but time and influence have done
their work on me.As a result, euphemisms and sex slang are no longer a problems for
me - a result I am not proud of. It just help me belong. God is always there in the
back of my mind.
I walk upstairs, brush against seveal guys in the hallway laughing at and mocking
the vulgar drawingcarved into the house bulletin board, and make my way to my room.
I have my own room thank God for that, I can see my Bible sitting up on the shelf
above my TV. I usuallyturn on my TV instead.
I can only describe what I, as a believer, feel those moments. I feel gross
disgusted and all that. But I don't get down on myself, not anymore. God is there
in the back my mind. And that's enough for me.
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